Tis the season...

For those of you who may be requested to attend church service with relatives, I offer the following:

The man who lets it be known that he is religious is in a strong life position. There is one basic rule. It is: go one better. Fenn went too far. This is his method—in his own words:

To take the most ordinary instance, the simple Sunday churchgoer. “Are you coming to church with us?” my host says. It is a little country church, and my host, Moulton, who has some claims to be a local squire, wants me to come, I know, because he is going to read the lesson. He reads it very well. He enjoys reading it. I heard him practising it to himself immediately after breakfast.

“Yes, why don’t you come to church for once, you old sinner?” Mrs. Moulton will say.

Do not mumble in reply to this: “No, I’m afraid…I’m not awfully good at that sort of thing…my letters…catch post.”

On the contrary, deepen and intensify your voice, lay your hand on her shoulder and say, “Elsa” (calling her by her Christian name for perhaps the first time):

“Elsa, when the painted glass is scattered from the windows, and the roof is opened to the sky, and ordinary simple flowers grow in the crevices of pew and transept—then, and not till then will your church, as I believe, be fit for worship.”

Not only does this reply completely silence opponent; but it will be possible to go out and win ten shillings on the golf course, come back very slightly buzzed from Sunday pre-lunch drinks, and suggest, by your direct and untroubled look, before which their glance may actually shift, that your host and hostess, however innocently, have only been playing at religion.

- Stephen Potter

-via Crooked Timber

According to FBI documents obtained by the ACLU, George W. Bush, qua President of the United States, issued an executive order authorizing the use of torture.

What is it with exposing government secrets and then committing suicide? Is it really that depressing?

Editor & Publisher reports that investigative reporter Gary Webb, who uncovered the Reagan-era CIA cocaine smuggling, killed himself this week. Apparently, some people think it's fishy just because he shot himself multiple times in the head

Coroner Robert Lyons said his office had been swamped with calls. "It's unusual in a suicide case to have two shots," he said, "but it has been done in the past, and it is in fact a distinct possibility."

This comes in the same week that the medics who found UK weapons expert Dr. David Kelly say they don't believe his death was caused by suicide.

"We felt that our observations of the scene where Dr Kelly's body was discovered were inconsistent with the conclusion of the Hutton Inquiry that Dr Kelly's death resulted from the wound to his wrist," the pair said in a joint statement read by Bartlett at a news conference.

What is it with these people?

Next thing you know they're going to suggest that the death of Danny Casolaro wasn't a suicide.

Sheesh, people, get a grip.

Last night I was watching the news when I heard this terrible cat-fight going on outside. Concerned, I went to the back porch to try to find Sebastian. He came running up and, in the dark, it looked like something was wrong with his face. I got him inside and then realized that he hadn't been involved in the fight at all (it was still going on outside). He had a live mouse in his mouth - a live mouse that he proceeded to chase and bat around and otherwise play with in the house.

I was very cross with him and told him to take the mouse outside immediately. He was not interested in what I had to say and proceeded to ignore me between impish looks. Not even the broom persuaded him! Finally, I had to use some tongs to pick up the mouse by the tail and deliver him outside myself. Sebastian was quite displeased with me for doing so, but I told him that he was already in ill favor with me and that the topic was not up for debate.

Sebastian is grounded. Just so you know.

Anne Applebaum has a column in Wednesday's Washington Post titled The Freedom Haters. The article is just about about as vapid as the headline. Ms. Applebaum notes that there is some chatter in the foreign press about CIA involvement in the political unrest in the Ukraine - something I hadn't heard before and about which I know nothing. At first she dismisses the idea that the CIA could influence elections as silly, which made me wonder about her sanity. I don't know if the CIA is involved in the current Ukrainian mess, but I think it's pretty well established that the CIA does screw around in the political process of other nations. Overthrowing the one democratic government in Iran's history comes to mind. Ms. Applebaum then goes on to point out the real problem - that's right, "freedom haters." Writes Ms. Applebaum:

The larger point, though, is that the "it's-all-an-American-plot" arguments circulating in cyberspace again demonstrate something that the writer Christopher Hitchens, himself a former Trotskyite, has been talking about for a long time: At least a part of the Western left -- or rather the Western far left -- is now so anti-American, or so anti-Bush, that it actually prefers authoritarian or totalitarian leaders to any government that would be friendly to the United States. Many of the same people who found it hard to say anything bad about Saddam Hussein find it equally difficult to say anything nice about pro-democracy demonstrators in Ukraine. Many of the same people who would refuse to condemn a dictator who is anti-American cannot bring themselves to admire democrats who admire, or at least don't hate, the United States. I certainly don't believe, as President Bush sometimes simplistically says, that everyone who disagrees with American policies in Iraq or elsewhere "hates freedom." That's why it's so shocking to discover that some of them do.

I almost laughed out loud the first time I read this. Hitchens? She refers to deep thoughts by Hitchens? Finally, I decided I had to do what anyone in my position would do - I wrote a letter.

Ms. Applebaum,

I read your Washington Post column, "Freedom Haters," with some interest. However, I must admit that I was left confused by the final paragraph. You wrote:

"At least a part of the Western left -- or rather the Western far left -- is now so anti-American, or so anti-Bush, that it actually prefers authoritarian or totalitarian leaders to /any /government that would be friendly to the United States. Many of the same people who found it hard to say anything bad about Saddam Hussein find it equally difficult to say anything nice about pro-democracy demonstrators in Ukraine."

Really? At least a part of the left prefers totalitarianism? I find that rather bothersome, as I am sure you do as well. Therefore, I pose to you the same question that I would pose to Mr. Hitchens with regard to statements such as these - who exactly are you talking about?

It seems to be very fashionable to refer to "the anti-American left" and leftists who "found it hard to say anything bad about Saddam Hussein", but I find it interesting that neither you nor Hitchens nor anyone else who makes such statements ever names any particular individuals. I have to admit, at this point I believe that you all fail to point to particular individuals because you are privately aware (at least I hope so) that this sort of straw-man argument has neither basis in reality nor journalistic merit.

I would like to know who these mysterious anti-American, pro-totalitarian, Saddam Hussein apologists are so that I can be sure not to take them seriously. Please let me know at your earliest convenience.

I'll publish the list just as soon as she sends it.

Ready to feel safer?

Analysis: Tenet calls for tough cyber security rules.

WASHINGTON -- Former CIA Director George Tenet called Wednesday for tough new security measures to guard against attacks on the United States using the Internet, which he called "a potential Achilles heel for our financial stability and physical security."

"I know that these actions will be controversial in this age when we still think the Internet is a free and open society with no control or accountability," Tenet told an IT security conference in Washington, "but ultimately the Wild West must give way to governance and control."

Can we go ahead and change the national motto to "Give way to governance and control"?