So, the President keeps making this claim that there are 1,500 counties in the U.S. that have "no ob/gyn to deliver babies." This claim made me curious about a number of things:

Why use counties as a measurement?
What is the effect of having no ob/gyn in a county?
Are ob/gyns the only people who deliver babies?
Does this include rural counties like Loving, Texas that have fewer than 100 people?
What is the source for this statistic?

As to the last question, I was really curious - I couldn't find any source for such a claim. I mean, there are only around 3,141 counties in the U.S. So if 1,500 don't have an ob/gyn, and that's bad, it seems like we should have passed the disaster threshold a long time ago - after all, that's half the counties in the U.S.! Surely, someon would be talking about this.

I called the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. I figure, hell, they should know, right? I was transferred to their resource department where I was told that they don't have the data to back up that claim. Well, okay.

So, I called the White House and talked to someone. The woman who helped me was very nice and found the list of counties and the source for the list. Only, I still don't know what either of those are because, as this very nice young lady very politely explained, she was told not to tell me. Huh?

That's right. The President goes around making these incredible statements and saying that they're really amazing, but if you ask what his source is, he won't tell you.

That's Bush credibility for you.

Blake Gottesman, whom you may remember from earlier posts about the young college dropout turned Bush valet, has some big plans following his current White House position. A National Journal article out today ("Johnny Harvard" 5/27/06) says that once he leaves behind his $95,000 position as Bush's 'personal aide', Gottesman plans to attend Harvard Business School.

What's that, you say? Don't you mean he plans to get an undergraduate degree and then go to grad school? How precious your naivete.

Despite Gottesman's lack of required credentials, President Bush wrote him a letter of recommendation. Then "the president also made a friendly call to Harvard on his aide's behalf, as did former White House Chief of Staff Andy Card."

I've got nothing against this kid, and I hope that he finds success and happiness, sure. But I don't believe that a stint as President Bush's valet is really equivalent to a college education, nor do I think it should merit special privileges. Then again, I've never really understood the mysteries of conservative meritocracy.

If the Republicans keep it up, The Onion is going to be out of business.

Stop illegal invasion: Put gators on border
Posted: May 19, 2006
1:00 a.m. Eastern

By Joe Kovacs

The top stories in America this week are simply astounding.

First, illegal aliens continue to invade the United States seemingly at will, as our elected clowns (aka the president and Congress) remain gutless in their attempts to stem the tide. Gonads are apparently out of stock in Washington when it comes to deporting illegals and building a barrier along the entire southern border with Mexico.

Meanwhile, alligators are on the prowl in Florida, threatening anything that moves, from people to puppy dogs. As far as I can tell, the critters have no apparent new hatred for humans. They're just doing what comes naturally when encroached upon.

Both these problems have received plenty of media coverage, and have left much of America in a panic. So what's the nation to do? How can the republic survive? After about 10 seconds of deep thought, the answer is obvious.

Put the alligators on the border.

Seriously, people.

This is quite possibly the stupidest column I've ever seen. And that's saying a lot.

 

What if Mexicans were crack?
May 17, 2006
by Jonah Goldberg

President Bush hoped to tone down and sober up the immigration fight Monday night. But it amounted to a soft "shush" at WrestleMania.

The most interesting part of this political and ideological cage match is that few of the usual labels have much utility. President Bush and Senator Kennedy agree on a lot. Howard Dean and Hillary Clinton, meanwhile, can sound like conservative Republicans in their demands to close the border. Weekly Standard editor and Fox News sage Bill Kristol declares himself a "liberal" on immigration and "soft" on illegal immigration. Both the Weekly Standard and the editors of the Wall Street Journal consider National Review to be part of the mob of "yahoos" trying, in Kristol's words, to drive the GOP "off a cliff."

So this seems like a propitious time to ask: What if illegal immigrants were crack?

Seriously, this guy gets paid money to write this worthless crap? Politics aside, this is just retarded.

Even having lived and worked in DC for only a few short months, I feel that I can readily say that this town is populated with unrepentant crooks and liars. If you think your government is representative or responsive, you are fooling yourself. And if you think anyone here gives a damn about the truth, forget it. Seriously, get this through your head - no one here cares about truth, justice, principle, or, more to the point, you.